angst

i.

living a life that is gone
non-existent
we have become apparitions
to each other -
wrecked boats anchored
to a shifting shore
wailing at night
grinning toothily in broad
daylight

ii.

we long and we yearn
we get and we long
we long and we let
go

iii.

and
what we have we don't want
what we want we don't have

iv.

our relations are shallow
unsatisfied by touch we seek
thrills
in untoward places

v.

sometimes i stand outside
myself
and weep
forever the pariah

vi.

unable to connect i reach
across: tentacles appendages
phalanges. swirling
attaching, quicksand

vii.

but i cannot allow the little boy
to come out
i am afraid of what he will do

viii.

flashes of light
illuminating out dark ways
like a possession

ix.

our days are gloomy. filled
with woes and throes
of remembrances hauntings
sour grapes raptures
shards of the part
haunting

x.

will we ever be?